Possessive But Loved
by Strawberry-Yaoi Fangurl
Summary: Eiri ran into someone he wish he didn't. The person threatened to take Shuichi away from him, sending him off into a rage. He does some things he regrets. Will Shuichi forgive him? THIS IS YAOI! Warnings inside, please read them before continuing.
1. The Act and Regret

**WARNINGS!**  
**THIS STORY CONTAINS: A BIT OOC, YAOI, LANGUAGE, MENTIONS RAPE, MENTIONS SEX, AND IS NOT FOR YOUNG READERS. OTHER THAN THESE WARNINGS, THIS STORY IS PURE FLUFF!**  
**NO FIRE! READ THE WARNINGS! DON'T LIKE DON'T READ!**  
**I DO NOT OWN GRAVITATION!**  
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Chapter 1

_Ug, damn! I thought that meeting would never end!_

Novelist Eiri Yuki was making his way over to his car after a painfully long meeting with the publishing company and his editor. His short fuse was even shorter, and his hands are dying to find something to strangle.

When his car finally came into sight, a vein popped when he saw someone casually leaning against the frame.

"It's been quite a day, hasn't it Mr. Eiri?" The figure said. Eiri was praying with all of his willpower that the voice was not as familiar as it sounded.

"What do you want Taki? I thought I saw the last of you after I nearly killed one of your band mates?" Eiri countered with ice in his voice.

"Don't worry. I'm only coming after your boyfriend again." Eiri's blood began to boil, "Why do you look so angry about it? You don't even love the squirt."

"Of course I do! The brat's mine!" Eiri snapped.

"Oh yeah? When's the last time you told him?" All of a sudden, Eiri's boiling blood turned to ice. "He's already half mine, and one day soon, I will claim him and you won't be able to do a thing about it."

"'Claim him'? I don't know if I hit you hard enough, but you guys gang raped him!"

"'Claim him', 'rape him'. In the animalistic world of sex, it's all the same thing." Eiri was again frozen in place as the former musician strolled away.

Eiri stayed frozen in place for a good two minutes before getting into the American-driver's side and floored the gas and never slowed or let up until he was parked in the garage of the apartment complex.

_His? __**His?**__ The brat is mine and mine alone! The brat knows I love him; I don't even have to say it for him to know!_

At this point, he was in the elevator on his way up to the penthouse. Where his adorable little bubblegum-topped singer was waiting for him. And soon enough, he was unlocking the door.

"Yuki~!" Eiri was nearly knocked off his feet by his lover. He had a happy expression on his face and was babbling away about something that happened at work. But when he looked up at Eiri's face, his useless jabber paused for just a moment as his face showed one of worry. His jabbering started up again, probably asking if something was wrong or if he was sick.

Eiri was hearing none of it, the world is stuck on mute as his pissed and possessive thoughts continued to storm through his head.

_ That jackass thinks he's gonna take what's mine away from me. I'll show him, I'll prove whom that brat really belongs to._

"Yuki if you're not feeling well, maybe you should go lie down or-" Shuichi's blabbering was cut short as Eiri's lips covered his and were practically smothering him as Eiri tried to gain access to Shuichi's mouth for his tongue. Shuichi was confused and struggled to hold onto his resolve and his train of thought. Shuichi tried to use his hands and the little strength he had to try to push Eiri off. Eiri noticed this and grabbed both of Shuichi's wrists and gathered them in one of his hands, while he used the other to grab a hold of the bubblegum hair and pull his closer. Eiri did all of this without breaking the kiss, which has yet to deepen. Eiri was getting pissed off and decided to change that.

As Shuichi continued to whimper and struggle against the kiss with all his might, Eiri took the opportunity to bite down on Shuichi's bottom lip hard and enough to draw blood.

"Ow!" Shuichi gasped as Eiri bit him, but Shuichi's mouth finally opened wide enough for Eiri to thrust his tongue inside. Tears started to gather in Shuichi's eyes, as he tasted metal, Eiri's tongue was exploring the familiar moist cavern as Shuichi's lip throbbed.

_What's going on? Something's wrong with Yuki! Something is not right and it is my job as his lover to find out what!_

With a new determination, Shuichi started to struggle with all his might. He felt Eiri's grip on his hair and wrists start to adjust but did not give way. His first plan was unsuccessful but Shuichi still didn't give up. His next plan is going to hurt both of them.

_I'm sorry Yuki; this is for your own good!_

With that final thought, Shuichi bit down onto Eiri's roaming tongue. Which caused Eiri to jerk back immediately and push Shuichi away, allowing the singer to take a few steps back and away from the writer.

Eiri was staring at Shuichi with fury in his eyes. And as Eiri cradled his injured tongue, tears continued to drip down Shuichi's face.

"Yuki, what's going on? What's wrong with you? Did something happen at the meeting? Who pissed you off? Please Yuki, I love you! I love you and I want to help you in any way that I can!" Shuichi pleaded as the tears fell.

For a moment, just a moment, Eiri fell out of his possessive faze as he looked into Shuichi's teary violet eyes. But as soon as he came out of it, he dove back in. He took a step towards Shuichi as Shuichi took a step back. It continued like this until Shuichi was trapped against a wall with one of each of Eiri's arms on either side of him, trapping him. Their faces only inches apart, one pair of eyes was portraying anger while the other was pleading. For what, Eiri didn't give a damn.

Shuichi blinked in surprise as he was suddenly facing the wall and his hands were being bound behind his back by what felt like the tie that was once around Eiri's neck. He flinched as he felt the knot tighten painfully around his slim wrists. Shuichi whimpered pleas for Eiri to stop this but they were but short once again as he felt the novelist's hand on his clothed half-erect member.

"What an adorable little masochists, you're actually enjoying this." Eiri purred seductively into the vocalist's ear.

"No!" Shuichi tried to deny as he struggled against the knot around his wrists and Eiri's grip, but it only made Eiri's hand move faster as it drew circles around Shuichi's now fully awakened member.

"You say 'no', but your cock is just begging to be released from the tight hold of these seductive pants you always wear." He whispered as he ever so slowly started to pull down the zipper to the leather pants. The member was still bound in Shuichi's now slightly damp boxers, but Shuichi couldn't help but sigh a bit of relief from the skin-tight pants. "And look, your nipples are perking in the most perfect fashion." One hand continued to hold Shuichi still while the other hand moved from playing with the singer's cock to his playing with his nipples through his navy tank top.

Shuichi's mind was in a scramble as the more Eiri continued, the more confused he got. His tears continued to fall in what seemed like rivers while he tried to figure out if his Yuki was complimenting or taunting him.

"Yuki please," Shuichi sobbed, "you're really scaring me. Please untie me and we can talk about this! Yuk-" Eiri's fingers made their way into Shuichi's mouth and nearly choked him.

I suggest you quit making so much noise, or else you could get hurt." Eiri's voice was made of ice and fury as Shuichi was flung over his shoulder as he left both pairs of their pants where they were once standing.

Tears continued to fall as Shuichi bit his lip to keep himself from breaking down and crying as he was carried toward the bedroom where he will meet his fate.

. . . (Sorry, I have to cut that out! But you can go to my profile to read the full version)

"YUKI!" Shuichi cried out, and finally, Eiri snapped out of his faze.

The cry of his lover was not one of pleasure and ecstasy, but one of pain and agony.

Eiri was afraid to move, Shuichi's forehead leaning against his chest. And even in the dark, he could see the boy's body trembling. Eiri's breath stopped completely as he felt something liquid run over his hipbone. And with the moon's light as his witness, he looked to see a trail of blood coming from where he and Shuichi were connected.

He immediately released Shuichi's hands then put his hands up in surrender and didn't do a thing further. He was afraid to touch the boy, he was afraid to try to move him or cause further harm. Eiri's own body began to tremble as thoughts ran franticly through his head.

_What have I done! I'm no better than Taki! I hurt the most important person I've ever had. Is all I do hurt and kill people? I should just go-_

"Yuki?" A small voice broke Eiri out of his train of thought. He opened his eyes he didn't even know he closed and looked up at Shuichi. His eyes red and puffy from crying but instead of seeing hatred and betrayal, he saw understanding, love, and a little pain and sorrow.

"Why are you looking at me like that Shu?" Eiri asked as he flipped them over and removed himself from Shuichi's torn and bloody entrance. Shuichi flinched when Eiri removed himself, but he looked very confused. "Why?" Eiri asked again. His voice was quivering. "Why do you still show love for me in those eyes after I just-" His voice cracked, "after I-I-I-I" and again.

Shuichi used his small hands to cup Eiri's cheek and made him look up. Eiri's golden eyes were melted as tears filled them and ran down his cheek. One or two fell off and onto Shuichi's lip and washed away the blood and bite-mark that still lingered.

Shuichi tasted the salty tears, only one other time had he seen Eiri cry. Without even knowing, Shuichi started to cry again. He didn't know why, but he felt like he had to.

Eiri still cried but hardly did anything more as Shuichi's tears started up again and soaked Eiri's chest and unbuttoned shirt. Eiri moved as careful as possible without letting Shuichi go, he flipped them over and sat up so Shuichi had his knees curled up and was cuddling in Yuki's lap and leaning on his shoulder with his eyes looking dazed.

They stayed that way until Eiri was sure the boy was asleep then slowly rolled sideways and placed him on one side of the mattress. He untangled himself then started to get up when he suddenly felt something grip his shirt sleeve. He looked down at Shuichi gripping the sleeve so tight his knuckles were turning white and his eyes large and filled with fear.

_But fear of what, shouldn't he be afraid of me?_

". . . me." Shuichi mumbled something incoherent.

"What do you need Shu?" He asked gently, the boy looked so shaken up.

_Of course he's shaken up, I just raped him!_

"Don't leave me." He begged in a whisper. Eiri looked down at him with understanding eyes despite his confusion.

He took the hand that was gripping his sleeve and massaged it until it let go and lay in his hand. He kissed the inner palm then brought his other hand up and rubbed southing circles on Shuichi's tear stained cheeks as the panic I Shuichi's eyes started to fade. He did not flinch or move away from Eiri's touches, but was actually leaning into them.

"I'm not gonna leave you, but I need to go run us a bath."

"I don't wanna take one right now."

"Then at least let me get the first aid kit."

After a few moments of hesitation, Shuichi finally sighed, "Okay Yuki."

"Shuichi?"

"Hm?"

"Call me Eiri from now on. 'Kay?"

"Eiri." Shuichi said it once out loud as though to test it. "I like it." And he approved of it.

"Good.' Eiri tried to get up from the bed again without Shuichi grabbing him. When he took the key and unlocked the door and was halfway through it, he called him again.

"Eiri?" Shuichi asked in a raspy voice. He turned around in the doorway and looked at him.

"Yeah Shu?"

"I love you."

And uncharacteristically, Eiri responded, "I love you too, Shu." Then walked through the door and closed it behind him.

A couple minutes later, Eiri came back with three hand towels and the first aid kit in hand. Shuichi was eyes the kit nervously and he had every right to be.

_Damn! This is gonna hurt like hell for the both of us._

"Don't worry. I'm not gonna give you any needles." Eiri said in a slightly joking tone hoping to lighten the mood.

It worked. Shuichi's face gave into giving Eiri a gentle smile, along with a small but noticeable sigh of relief. "I know." He giggled.

Shuichi watched wearily as Eiri sat down on the edge of the bed and placed the towels next to him. Nest he opened the first aid kit and closed it shortly afterwards after removing a couple of items and snapping on latex medical gloves.

Shuichi gulped a little it when he heard the rubber gloves snap against Eiri's skin.

Eiri moved very slowly, always keeping one hand on Shuichi and started to slowly peel the covers back.

Shuichi neither flinched, whimpered, nor pulled away; but he did close his eyes. Now the covers were just covering his lower half, but Eiri continued. The final covers moved away to reveal a decent sized red patch against the navy sheets.

Eiri took a sharp intake of breath but tried to keep it hidden. He didn't want to freak out Shuichi any more than he already is.

Still moving slowly, he pulled Shuichi forward enough that he could lean back and be lying flat on his back.

"Shu, lie on your back and fold your arms under your knees and hug them to your chest." Eiri instructed.

Shuichi opened his eyes and did what he was told. Shuichi was nervous bit did his best to keep a straight face.

Eiri nearly passed out at the bloody sight of Shuichi's entrance. But he kept going.

He lifted Shuichi's ass enough to slip a towel underneath of it. He adjusted the nozzle of the saline wound wash, then reached for the second towel and held it up to Shuichi's face.

"Open your mouth and bite down." He instructed.

"Why?" The singer questioned.

"Because as much as I wish it weren't true, this is gonna hurt. And I don't think screaming and disturbing the neighbors is gonna help."

Shuichi swallowed the nervous lump in his throat then reached forward and gripped the towel between his teeth.

Eiri aimed the nozzle of the wound wash then asked, "You ready?" Shuichi gave a nod of his head to show he was ready.

He started to spray, but as soon as he did, Shuichi tensed. Causing his entrance to clench painfully.

"Relax Shu; if you don't then this is going to hurt more than it has to." Eiri explained.

Shu took several deep breaths out of his nose then nodded his head to show he was ready. Eiri started up again, Shu flinched then relaxed against the spray and Eiri's touch. Eiri finished then used one of the towels to wipe away and excess.

He opened the jar of Neosporin and spread on the fingers of one of the gloves. He took a moment to look up at Shuichi. He had sweat on his forehead and he was starting to turn purple.

Eiri stayed composed as he used his clean gloved hand to rub Shuichi's knee as he coolly said, "Breathe Shu."

The towel fell out of Shuichi's mouth as he breathed a mouthful of air. Once his lungs caught up, his eyes met Eiri's and they pleaded it was over.

Eiri placed the towel back in his mouth as he continued rubbing the circles on the boy's knee.

"I know Shu," he whispered, "I know it hurts baby. But just try to hang in there, I'm almost done."

He started rubbing the cream onto Shuichi's inner walls. While one hand did that, the other never ceased the soothing circles.

Eiri almost became sick once again as pink goo flowed out of Shuichi's entrance. It was a mixture of Eiri's seed, and Shuichi's blood.

Eiri rushed to finish applying the cream as the rest of the goo landed on the towel. He removed his gloves and threw them out then proceeded to clean everything up. He took the towel out of Shuichi's mouth and out from under his butt.

He got up and went over to the drawers and dug out a pair of underwear for Shuichi instead of boxers. He walked back to the bed and used a feminine pad to line the bottom, then handed them to Shuichi.

Shuichi scrunched his nose as he took the underwear in his hand and held it away from his like a baby's diaper.

"Eiri, what's this?" Shuichi asked motioning towards the undergarments.

"It's the best way to protect you from infection. You only have to wear it tonight and tomorrow. "

"Fine." Shuichi huffed. He sat up and shimmied the underwear then looked at Eiri with a displeased look on his face.

"Good. Now lean forward." Shu did as he was told. Eiri took all the pillows and threw them on the floor in a neat pile. Once that was done, he walked back over to the bed and took Shuichi into his arms and gingerly placed him down onto the pile. After a smile and an affectionate ruffle of the hair, Eiri set to work in changing the sheets and tidying up the room a little.

Shuichi kept his eyes on the floor as Eiri tried to finish quickly without forgetting anything.

Once he stripped the bed, he made a quick trip to the closet to the closet and grabbed a new set of linens. He decided to treat Shuichi and use the pink sheets that Shuichi got for them for their first anniversary.

When Eiri walked back into the room and started putting the sheets on the bed, he saw out of the corner of his eyes Shuichi noticing the sheets and smiling at them.

Once he finished, he put Shuichi and the pillows back on the bed and handed him a pair of pajamas. Eiri changed then helped Shuichi into his as they both got into bed. Eiri held Shuichi as close as possible and fell asleep like that. Shuichi fell asleep not long afterwards once he intertwined their fingers.

**Wow, this is the first time I've ever written anything like this. So please go easy on me and tell me what you think. This story was created for my Yaoi Buddy Vicky and upon her request that I post it for others to enjoy. Please review and tell me what you think. NO FLAMES PLEASE!**


	2. Difficult to Walk

**Hey just for you I took the time to type up the next chapter of this fic. So enjoy and tell me what you think.**

The sun shone through the window and woke the sleeping angel that slowly opened his purple eyes. He groaned as he tried to sit up and failed when pain shot through and up his backside and spine. He tried again and this time succeeded in sitting up. But when he tried to stand, his legs gave way immediately and he fell to the floor with an unceremonious _thump_.

As he tried to use the mattress to pull himself back up, he heard footsteps near the bedroom and stop at the door as it clicked and creaked open. Shuichi looked up from his place on the floor up at his lover's concerned eyes.

"Ah, good morning Yu-Eiri." He greeted with his eyes to the floor.

_Shit, I almost called him Yuki. I gotta get used to that._

"What are you . . .?" Eiri started. He was going to question his lover's position on the floor, but confirmed the reason when he saw on of Shuichi's hands rubbing his back. Guilt flooded through him as he remembered that he was the cause of the pain.

"Um, Eiri?" The writer snapped out of his thoughts when his lover called his name. Shuichi's eyes were cast to the floor and his cheeks tinted with a blush. "Y-you see . . . I tried to stand up . . .a-and I fell . . . but I really have to go to the bathroom and . . . I can't stand up. S-s-so can you . . . help me?" On the last part, Shuichi finally met eyes with Eiri and a sheepish grin on his face as his cheeks reddened deeper.

"Sure thing Shu." Eiri said with a gently and understanding tone. Eiri offered his hand to the singer and he took it and tried to haul himself up with the strength he had left but he didn't go anywhere until Eiri wrapped his other arm around Shuichi's waist and lifted him off the carpet and onto shaky and numb legs and feet.

"Thanks." Shuichi tried to take a step forward but his legs wouldn't allow it. He would've fallen right to the ground if Eiri hadn't had a grip on him in the first place.

After a few minutes of being dragged down the hallway, Shuichi finally got a little feeling back in his feet but still needed Eiri to help him walk. When they arrived at the bathroom door, Shuichi let go of Eiri and gripped the doorknob.

"Do you need me to come in with you?" Eiri offered as he hesitantly let go of Shuichi.

"I think I'm fine." Shuichi started taking a couple shaky steps into the bathroom then paused and turned partially around. "But in case I fall again . . .Could you wait outside the door?" Shuichi asked with begging eyes and what seemed like a nervous smile as he eyed the distance between the toilet and the door.

"Sure." Eiri reassured Shu. Shuichi nodded then closed the door. "Don't lock it." He slightly raised his voice so Shu could hear his through the barrier.

"I know," A response came from the other side, "I didn't."

Shuichi finished then washed his hands, the bathroom door opened not long afterwards to reveal a blushing Shuichi gripping the doorframe to keep him from falling again. He looked up at Eiri and it took a split second for Eiri to put his arm out to catch Shu right before he legs gave way again.

"Thanks." Shuichi breathed as he caught his breath after Eiri held him up on his feet. "You should have seen me when I was holding myself up so I could pee, you would never let me live it down." Shuichi chuckled and so did Eiri.

Shuichi was happy to see Eiri smile, but he wasn't as blind or as stupid as he seemed. He could see Eiri's self-hatred, and he knows all this kindness was suppose to be pity and an apology.

They made is back to the room and Shuichi used a couple pillows to prop himself up on the bed.

"I'm going to go make some breakfast, want anything in particular?" Eiri asked from his sitting position on the edge of the bed.

"Anything's fine."

"Do you need anything else?"

"No, I'm fine." Shuichi shifted under the blankets as the feminine panty-liner continued to make a rash on the inside of both his thighs.

Eiri got up from the bed and started making his way towards the door and when he was halfway through it he paused and said over his shoulder, "You do know you could've taken off the panty-liner by now, right?"

Shuichi's expression went blank for a second before it turned to one of fury with an embarrassed flush on his cheeks.

"Huh!?" He took the nearest object and threw it at Eiri who happily caught the first-aid kit.

Eiri walked through the door but left it open. "On second thought, leave the pad on. Once we're done eating I'll re-apply the stuff." Eiri yelled from the hallway followed by footsteps and soon all he heard was Eiri busying himself with making them both breakfast and coffee.

While Eiri did that, Shuichi decided to use this time to think about last night's events.

_Someone just probably pissed Eiri off again. But they must've threatened me in some way to get Eiri to be that possessive. KYAA~! Eiri is protective of me! But last night scared me, he's never been that rough with me._

Images of being raped by Taki started flashing before his eyes.

_NO! _He shook his head trying to dispel of the pictures. _Eiri didn't rape me! Rape is cruel and unpleasurable, and what Eiri did . . . The point is that it wasn't rape! This morning he was acting depressed, then playful, and now, all of a sudden Eiri is being really nice to me. The bastard is probably blaming himself for all of this._

He didn't know how long he was thinking about this stuff and just staring at this hands in his lap, but he was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't even notice the writer walking in with their food. Shuichi continued to stare at his hands and held a sad expression on his face and his fists clenched so tight his knuckles were turning white.

Eiri set the tray of food on the bedside table then gently sat down next to Shuichi on the bed. He still had not noticed that Eiri was in the room. Shuichi finally came back to reality when Eiri laid one of his hands on top of Shuichi's. He jumped a little but became present all the same.

"Shu-" Eiri started but Shu interrupted.

"Eiri we need to talk." Shuichi didn't lift his eyes.

"Okay. About what?"

"About last night."

"Oh." Both of their voices dropped to rushed whispers.

"I really don't mean to pry anything, but I just want to know who or what pissed you off so much." Shuichi still refused to look up from his folded hands in his lap.

Eiri took a moment to check himself before he sighed and began his explanation. "It was Taki," he felt Shuichi flinch in his hands, "he came up to me after the meeting and claimed he would steal you away from me." Shuichi's head snapped up and their eyes finally met as Shuichi started to lightly tremble. "He even threatened to rape you again." That comment made Shuichi stop breathing all together. Eiri gave the hand underneath his a reassuring squeeze. "He's not going to touch you and that's not the part that pissed me off the most. He claimed that I didn't love you!" Eiri was yelling now and tried to take a lot of deep breaths and keep himself from losing his temper. "I do love you! I know I don't say it or show it often, but you made my life worth living. The reason I couldn't kill myself in New York was because I thought of you. I imagined your welcoming face when I came home, and how all your attempts at cooking and burning down my house were for me.

"And some lowlife comes up and says that I don't love you . . . It pissed me off! It pissed me off so much!" Eiri's voice dropped and so did his eyes. "So much that I ended up raping you myself. And that was something I could not forgive myself for. "I'm so sorry Shuichi. Please Shu if there is anything I can do to redeem myself even just a little, please tell me." At this point, Eiri looked like he was about to cry, but wouldn't let the tears fall.

Eiri was all of a sudden nearly knocked off the bed when he felt two skinny, warm arms wrap around him as Shuichi started sobbing into his chest, "Don't leave me!" Eiri was stunned for a moment before wrapping his arms around Shuichi and returned the embrace.

"Please don't leave me Eiri! I can't go through that again. I felt so empty without you! And call me a pervert all you want, but last night felt amazing. My only problem was that I was scared Eiri. You were troubled and I felt powerless, useless, in the dark. I've never seen you so possessive, and when I couldn't get through to you. . . I-I-I-I . . . I just . . ." Shuichi was now full-blown sobbing and could no longer form coherent words, but all Eiri could do was hold him and comfort him.

After a few minutes, Shuichi finally calmed down and sat up and was rubbing his red, puffy eyes. Both of them sighed and neither knew where to go from here. So Eiri decided to speak first. "I won't do it Shu. I won't leave you and I never will but you can't deny what I did to you last night. I didn't keep myself in check and that we both ended up paying the consequences for what was my action."

"But I'm still here aren't I?" Shuichi pointed out.

"That just may be because of your inability to walk?"

"It is not!"

"Wanna bet?"

"Yes! I bet you I can stay on my feet for at least ten seconds alone and without holding onto anything. I win, you kiss me and we say that last night was rough sex, and you won't be depressed about it. You win and you can call last night whatever you want and I will do whatever you want. Deal?"

_Shit! I can hardly sit up, how an I suppose to stand?! I've gotten myself in trouble with this one!_

"Deal!" Eiri grabbed a digital timer and set it for ten seconds. While he set the timer, Shuichi got up from the bed and shakily walked a couple feet away from the bed.

"Ready?" Eiri questioned. Shuichi nodded yes. "Go!" the bed from the timer resonated through the room. Although the room stayed silent for the countdown, that was not the same case for Shuichi's head.

_Come on legs, hold up! I need to win this bet! Just win this one bet and move on. But my legs are numb! Just five more seconds . . .!_

Shuichi's legs were shaking so hard Eiri thought they would give out after the first few seconds. But Eiri was proven wrong after the timer rang signaling the ten seconds were up.

Shuichi let out the breath he was holding and rasped out, "I . . . win." Before his knees finally gave way and buckled underneath him.

"Shu!" Eiri exclaimed as he caught Shuichi before he hit the carpet. He pulled Shu up into his lap and started worrying when he saw sweat built up on Shuichi's brow. He was alarmed as he felt flaming skin under his fingertips.

"Shit Shuichi you have a fever. If you had one, why did you make that bet? You idiot!" Eiri laid Shu down on the bed and picked up the first-aid kit and dug out ibuprofen and anti-fever tablets.

Eiri glanced at the plate of food and decided upon changing Shuichi's coffee for a tall glass of water. But he couldn't give Shuichi either of the pills until something was put into his stomach.

Eiri looked over at Shuichi again and brushed some damp pink locks off of his flaming forehead.

Shuichi groaned groggily and leaned into the touch and opened his hazy eyes and let them focus on Eiri's face.

"Eiri?" He croaked.

"Hey pink idiot. A little advice, when you have a fever, don't make a bet that will push you past your limit. Why am I not surprised that you are stupid enough to do that?"

Shuichi smiled almost sympathetically up at Eiri and mumbled, "I knew it was stupid, but I didn't want to see you beat yourself up over last night. I couldn't stand to see such a sad expression on your face every time I flinched or tried to move. It was more painful to see you depressed then it was for me to walk."

The words gripped Eiri's heart and smiled sadly down at Shuichi.

"Don't do that!" Shuichi snapped and shot up too fast. His version spun and he nearly fell off the edge of the bed had it not been for Eiri.

"Idiot, stop doing that."

"Then stop looking at me like that. I won the bet, so now you owe me a kiss and I want the cold-hearted bastard writer that is my lover back. Front and center, now."

Eiri just stared at Shu as he tried to calculate what he said.

_He actually took that bet seriously?_

"What do you mean I 'owe' you a kiss?"

"Well obviously you can't kiss me now, I have a fever."

'True. But you really took the bet seriously?"

"Of course I took the bet seriously! And I expect you to do the same. If not then so help me Eiri I will waddle into your office and smash your laptop." Shuichi threatened.

"Go ahead, I need a new one anyway." Eiri shrugged.

"Eiri!" The writer just chuckled at the increase of volume. "That's it!" Shuichi furrowed his eyebrows and threw the covers back and started to stand and walk towards to door.

"Baka(idiot)! What are you doing?!" Shuichi stumbled a bit but tried to keep walking, but his feverish body and weak legs wouldn't allow him to take another step.

Eiri picked him up from behind and started carrying him back to the bed but Shuichi started to struggle and wriggle causing Eiri to almost drop him a couple times.

"Baka if you don't stop struggling I'll end up dropping you on your head." Eiri made it back to the bed and sat Shuichi in his lap still trying to escape.

"You would like that wouldn't you?!" Shuichi was crying again as he clawed against Eiri's hands keeping him still. "You would laugh at me as I hit my head and lose consciousness while you just walk away to write another novel or get screwed!"

"Huh?" Shuichi kept ranting on, further confusing and annoying him to no end. So he used the best method he knew to shut up a loud, cute, and panicking lover.

Eiri grabbed Shuichi, turned him around, and finally silenced the room as their lips met.

Neither deepened it, nor did either pull away. But Eiri did tighten his grip around Shuichi try to pull away. First he felt Shuichi's hands on his chest, but not long after they were intertwined in Eiri's hair, pulling them closer. Both their eyes were closed from the tender moment, and finally Eiri gently pulled away to look at Shuichi.

"Why did you do that Eiri?" Shu asked in a quiet tone. "I don't want you to get sick. And if you really wanted me to shut up, then you could've told me so or put your hand over my mouth."

"Two things; one, neither of those methods would've worked. And two, I did it because I wanted to kiss you and make you calm down." He pulled Shuichi into a hug which he returned. Eiri tilted them both backwards so they were lying down with Shuichi cuddling into his chest.

They were both content just lying there.


	3. Talk It Out

**Hey everybody, it's been a bit. Anyway I finally uncovered my notebook that has all the chapters of Possessive But Loved written in them. The story is not done yet but that doesn't mean that I shouldn't stop posting the chapters I have. This next chapter is more for humor and to all those Yaoi fans out there. So this one is for you!**

Chapter 3

They were both content with just lying there, but Shuichi's stomach had other plans and growled.

Eiri sighed and sat them both up. While Eiri received the tray of food, Shuichi sat himself up against the headboard in a more comfortable position. Eiri placed the tray on Shuichi's lap and sat next to him as they both dug in.

After they both had their fill, Shuichi picked up the pills Eiri left for him and gratefully took them. After about 15 minutes the pills kicked in and Shuichi started to doze off as the fever started fading. As Shu started zoning, Eiri let his eyes wander the room and fall upon the first-aid kit.

_Shit! I almost forgot!_

"Hey Shu?" The singer looked over at him with heavy eyes.

"Yeah?" His voice might have sounded strong but his eyes were only half-lidded.

"I need to apply the medication, can you get into position?" Shu took a minute to register before a blush covered his face and he now seemed fully awake.

"S-sure." Shu pushed away the covers and started lying down on the mattress to get into position.

While Shuichi was busy with that, Eiri grabbed a large rag and a hand towel and laid out what he needed.

"Hey Eiri?" Shu called form the center of the bed.

"Yeah Shu?"

"Could you help me? The pills helped dull the pain but I still can't feel my legs." Shu chucked at himself.

Eiri looked up to see Shu trying to grab his knees but his legs are in a funny pose and wouldn't stop shaking. "Sure thing brat."

_Geez, so glad to hear the old nickname again._

Shuichi rolled his eyes to himself as Eiri helped Shu fold and tuck his legs partially into position before he took Shuichi's underwear off and then put him into full position. _**(AN: Is it just me, or is this starting to sound a bit kinky? *Wink)**_

Shuichi was taking slow and deep breaths trying to keep calk as Eiri got out the supplies and put some rubber gloves on. As Eiri lifted Shu's ass to pit the rag underneath, he heard Shu's breathing pick up pace. Just like last time, Eiri started rubbing soothing circles on one of Shu's knees.

"Hey brat, before you start hyperventilating, keep in mind that you had some anti-fever and pain meds. So it gets to be too much for you then just let the drugs to their job and allow you to pass out. Okay?" The singer was still concentrating on keeping his breathing even but nodded his head to show he at least heard the author. "Do you want the towel to bite on?"

"No thanks. I'm kind of already having a hard time breathing." Shu explained as he went back to taking deep breaths.

_Now the question is would it be for the better or the worse if he passed out?_ Eiri thought about it for a sec. _It would be bad, I don't want to know what kind of dream her would have when my fingers are up his ass._

Eiri stopped rubbing the cirlces on the singer's knee to ready the saline spray.

"Ready?"

Shuichi breathed out. "Ready."

Eiri started the spray. Shuichi at first kept twitching then relaxed. After the wash, Eiri paused for a minute to think about what to do next.

"Hey brat, did it hurt anywhere?"

"It stung, but not nearly as painful as it was last night."

_So that means the tears are healing but are still there. Maybe I should just take him to the hospital and let a professional take care of it. But what am I going to say? I can't exactly walk in and say "Hey I raped my boyfriend last night. Can you take a look at him and then heal him. Oh and once you're done, return him to me? Okay, thanks." Hell no! I'd have to come up with some excuse or else they'll call the police on my ass. But what am I going to say? He stuck a plunger up there because he couldn't poop? Although that does sound like something Shuichi would do._

"Hey Eiri?" Eiri hadn't realized Shu's been sitting in silence while he was thinking. "I'm not going to the hospital." Shuichi said in a matter-of-factly tone.

"And why the hell not?" Eiri crossed his arms at Shu.

"Because hospitals mean doctors, doctors mean nurses, nurses mean IVs, and IVs mean needles. And you know very well I don't do well with needles."

"No! Hospitals mean doctors, doctors mean help, help means you healing, and you healing means to trigger-happy manager barging in on us and making holes in the walls, ceiling, and possibly me."

"At least K's responsible enough to knock first."

"That's not the point Shu. You need to go to the hospital so you can get better."

"But you're making me better."

"Yes but not a lot. And do I look like a doctor?"

Shuichi let his eyes wander elsewhere before responding, "Yes."

"How?"

"You look like one of those sexy doctors that I see in my manga. And you're suppose to be towering over me as I bed 'Fuck me Dr. Yuki! Heal me with that big **** of yours!' and then you're suppose to not allow me to sign out and keep me captive in your lab for 'testing'. And-"

"WHAT KIND OF FUCKING MANGA HAVE YOU BEEN READING!?"

"It's a genre that my sister actually introduced me to. She says it's called 'Yaoi' and I love it."

"**What** is it exactly?" Eiri questioned, and for once, Shuichi was stumped.

"It's. . . um . . . well . . . kit's kind of . . . " Eiri quirked his eyebrow. "it's basically a romance manga about two guys where the story always leads up to them banging and sometimes more than once."

For a minute Eiri was just stunned into silence, then took many deep breaths before he calmly started asking questions.

"When did you start reading them?"

"I lost track of the exact time but sometime around 6 months ago."

"When do you read them?"

"A good amount of the time, most of the time is when you're working."

"And where do you keep them?"

"In my Ryuichi Sakuma Yaoi organizer of course!" He answered quickly and enthusiastically, then covered his mouth and dropped his knees and tried to get up. But he was a lot slower with numb legs and a fast lover. Eiri used a blanket to wrap Shuichi like a burrito and hold him fast. Once Eiri did that, he calmly started walking out the door and towards Shuichi's old room. All while Shuichi was screaming pleas.

"Please Eiri don't take them! I promice I'll sell them! I'll get rid of them! Even forget them! You can brain wash me and I'll never remember them! You can even have them if you want! But please Eiri just let me read them all one more time!" Shuichi guessed Eiri found the stash because he could hear Eiri yelling.

"How in the hell did you get so many!?"

"I don't have a lot, I don't even have all of the 'Uesugi Shuichi' Collection." Shuichi felt like crying, again he said too much.

"The 'Shuichi **what**' collection?" Eiri growled from Shuichi's room down the hall.

Shuichi could feel the danger frowing as he heard Eiri's footsteps nearing the room. Shuichi rushed to explain.

"Well you see, a manga artist was a big fan of us so she started drawing fanart of us. And then by popular demand, she started drawing a manga about us. Then, one story was doing so well it turned into an ongoing 13 volume series. I didn't know it would do that well so I bought the first one. And being the manga person I am, I bought the second one, and the third, and the fourth too. It isn't that bad and I can see why it's still on the Best Seller's list. But if you really hate it that much, then I can call them and they can discontinue it right on the spot."

At this point, Eiri was standing in the doorway and Shuichi was trapped. Not only was he wrapped tightly in a comforter burrito, he also had numb legs and was on one of the top floors of an apartment complex with no fire escape. Eiri is pissed, Shuichi has no means of escape, and if Shuichi decides to open his mouth again, he'll get into more trouble.

But of course, Shuichi does not have a lot of common sense.

"Really Eiri, it's not that big of a deal. Why are you angry at me?" Shuichi could've sworn he heard one of Eiri's veins pop.

"I don't know what to be pissed at more. The fact they wrote a manga about us without our permission, continued said manga into a series, or also the fact that you BOUGHT AND READ THE FUCKING MANGA!" Eiri hollered. Shuichi flinched, expecting him to advance and hit him, or kick him out, or do something. But Eiri just stayed in the doorway and tried to regain his breath.

As Eiri took a minute to catch his breath and allow his face to go back to its normal color, Shuichi stayed in his most defensive pose possible in his situation just in case.

"Hold on, Shu." Shuichi relaxed a little but not too much. "We are getting so off track here. The point I was **trying** to make earlier before you brought up your erotic manga. Is that even though I know first aid, I'm not a doctor and there may be something seriously wrong with you that I don't know about."

_Both mentally and physically._

"No way! I would feel it if something was wrong." Shuichi countered.

"Same way you can feel your legs?"

"No."

"Same way you feel the dents in your skull from getting dropped on your head so many times as a kid?"

"No. Hey! They only dropped me twice!"

"'Only'?"

Shuichi made an angry pout at him from his spot on the bed. But on the inside, he was smiling.

Yes he wasn't thrilled about Eiri's remarks, no he didn't want to see a doctor of any kind, but he was moe than happy that Eiri was already turning into his old grumpy-writer self.

"What?" Eiri questioned.

"Huh? What?"

"You know 'what'. Something's up."

"Why would there be something up?"

"Because you're being quiet."

"Oh. I was just happy about something."

"You're happy about being a Shuichi sushi roll?"

"No! I-Just forget it! And help me out of this thing!"

"Fine."

Eiri left his spot in the doorway and helped get Shuichi unwrapped. He helped Shuichi get comfortable again and demanded that he sleep.

As Shuichi settled in, he could feel Eiri watching him quite closely. Shuichi opened his eyes and looked up at Eiri and confirmed his suspicion. Eiri was just staring at hi with his usual scowl on his face and the breakfast tray with their empty dishes in one hand.

"What?" Shuichi asked.

Eiri didn't respond, but he bent down and used his free hand to move some pink bangs away from a spot on his forehead. And in that spot he gave Shuichi a short but affectionate kiss before walking out of the room without saying a word.

Shuichi just sat their for a minute before he snuggled back into the covers. But he did not start dozing off until he heard the usual rhythmic tapping of the keyboard resonating from Eiri's study.

**. . .**

Next thing he knows, someone is shaking him awake. He groggily tries to shoo them away, but that only made then shake harder.

"Come on Shu, you need to get up." Someone was saying in a hushed tone but it was still firm.

Shuichi sat up a little bit and tried to rub the sleep out of his eyes and focus on the blurry face above him.

"Eiri?" Shu guessed by the blond hair, but there was someone else. Once the burriness cleared, he saw someone about as tall as Eiri with dark hair and wearing casual cloths with a bag in his hand. He looked partially American but he wasn't 100% sure.

"Shu, this is John Hibara." Eiri introduced the man.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Shindou." John extended his hand for a shake.

"Thank you so much Mr. Hibara. It's a plea-" Shuichi was about to shake his hand when something hanging out of the bag caught his eye. It was a stethoscope.

**AW DAMN! EIRI CALLED A DOCTOR! Haha go easy on me folks I am in the middle of 3 or 4 different stories. I am doing my best to put a new chapter of each out asap. If you only read this one then please stayed tuned, if you read my others then I am currently in the middle of typing the next chapters.**


	4. Check Up

_Shit! This guy's on a house call!_

Both Eiri and the doctor were confused as to why Shu was hesitating in shaking the doctor's hand. Of course they were both oblivious to the fact that Shuichi found out about the house call. But that did not stop Shuichi from trying to escape.

Both taller men were taken by surprise when the covers were all of a sudden thrown back.

Shuichi flung himself off the side to attempt to run and escape.

Attempt.

He didn't know how long he was asleep for. But he sensed it was enough time for the pain-killers to wear off because as soon as he started moving, pain flashed through his body.

He ignored the pain and made a break for the opposite side of the bed. But once he got there, his legs wouldn't allow him to break into a run. He ran a couple painful steps before his leegs gave way and he started his attempt to crawl.

Eiri caught him in no time, it was a small matter of not letting go or not letting him escape.

While Eiri was trying to sort and restrain Shuichi's flailing limbs, the doctor started unloading his supplies. And some of the tools made Shuichi's skin crawl even more.

_What the fuck! Most of this stuff looks like it was taken directly out of an S&M kit. Oh shit, this is the payback I'm getting for reading the yaoi?_

"What kind of punishment is this?!" Shuichi yelled.

"Huh?" Eiri responded quickly but took the opening and grabbed Shuichi and pulled Shu's back to his chest. He sat on the edge of the bed and got Shuichi into position. He grabbed Shuichi's wrists and held them to the boy's stomach the grabbed under Shu's knees and hugged them to both their chests. Trapping Shuichi and making him unable to do anything except try to get some feeling back in his legs so he could kick.

"Let go Eiri I can't move!"

"That's kinda the point brat." Eiri replied bluntly.

"You really shouldn't be moving Mr. Shindou. With your fever, sore muscles, and what you went through the previous night, you really shouldn't be putting so much strain on your body." The doctor said as he snapped on a pair of latex gloves.

"Hate you Eiri." Shuichi said between clenched teeth. But Eiri didn't take it personally, he could already feel Shuichi starting to tremble.

It wasn't that Shuichi hated a certain part of the doctor's office, he was just scared of anything to do with the doctor in general. No one has any idea why, not even his sister.

And it took all this time for Shuichi to realize what position he's in and that he's still naked.

"Eiri at least let me put on some underwear."

"You can't do that. Then it would defeat the purpose of the pose." The doctor said.

"'the pose'?"

"Yes. You see I'm a proctogolist."

"A what?" Shuichi doesn't like words that have more letters than his first name.

"He specializes in assholes!" Eiri simply explained with a stern voice.

_Eiri didn't!?_

"Oh hell no! Only Eiri is allowed to look let alone **touch** down there!" Shuichi started struggling with a new found strength. But it still was not enough to break Eiri's grip. Tears started falling from the boy's eyes as he struggled from anger and his fear of the MD.

"Brat stop struggling!" Eiri said with frustration in his voice.

"Mr. Shindou please," Dr. Hibara said, "I would really like for you to be awake. But if you can't relax then I'll have to sedate you."

Shuichi paused for a minute as his eyes widened. Either he cooperated or they were going to stick a needle in him and do the procedure anyway.

"Fine. I'll stay still, but can you at least release one of my hands?" Shuichi felt Eiri shrug then the grip around him loosened enough for Shuichi to wriggle out one of his hands. He used that hand to grip Eiri's arm and then closed his eyes and leans into Eiri's left shoulder waiting for them to begin.

"Mr. Usaegi, did you do any kind of treatment?"

"Yeah' I've cleaned it with saline then spread a cream that prevents infection. I cleaned it again around 10 this morning but didn't apply the cream."

Shuichi started to relax from the vibrating in Eiri's chest against his back and his voice in his ears while Eiri talked with the doctor.

"It sounds like you did the right thing but the opening to the anus seems a little red and still kind of swollen. Alright, let's get started."

Shuichi gulped and his grip tightened around Eiri's arm. In response Eiri gave Shuichi a reassuring squeeze.

Shuichi tried to stay relaxed and calm but it was hard to do as he heard the clinking of metal on metal from the tools.

"Shindou-san," I'm going to use a tool tha allows me to have a better look inside your anus, okay?" Shuichi nodded to show he understood as a blush covered his cheeks. "Would you like he to put it in slowly or quickly?" Eiri snorted a little as Shuichi responded, "Quickly."

_Yeah haha. Very funny Eiri, "That's what he said." Geez, just like a horny teenager._

"Very well then, please try to relax." The doctor instructed as Shuichi felt something cold press against his entrance. "On the count of three." Shuichi did all he could to try to focus his nervous energy elsewhere in his body as he took a deep breath as the doctor started the countdown. "One . . .two . . . three."

"Hya!" Shuichi let out a small cry and tried to arch his back, but Eiri's grip wouldn't allow it. And Eiri gritted his teeth a little as Shuichi's grip tightened still around his arm.

"Sorry Mr. Shindou, did that hurt?"

Shuichi was taking a lot of deep breaths through gritted teeth as he tried to find his voice to respond. "Yeah," he responded was a strained voice, "a little, but it's also cold."

"Don't worry, it'll warm up soon. Can you tell where the pain is coming from?"

"Shallow in, and on the sides is where it hurts the most." His voice sounded a little better but still strained.

"Alright then, the tool should be warming up now and I won't stretch you any further. I'm just going to clean it again then I'll apply some medication that what looks like a couple times a day for the rest of the week."

Eiri bit his cheek at that part.

_Shit, the rest of the week? Great, now I'm probably going to have to chase him twice a day to apply the meds._

"I suggest no sexual intercourse for at least 9 days minimum and I do not think it would be good for you to go to work this week until you are off the medication."

"I can't stay home this week! We have an album coming out soon and they need me!" Shuichi protested.

"I understand Mr. Shindou but the medication I'm going to give you can have some unfriendly side effects, that if you're not under watch can possibly get hurt."

"If it has such nasty side effects then why do you prescribe it?" Eiri asked.

"It does the fastest and best healing job job and also has built in painkillers. I have a different one but you have to apply it 3 times a day for three weeks and even after that, the anus and rectum will need a week off-med to heal completely. But even that stuff has a side effect of temporary blindness."

"'Temporary'? Has it ever become permanent?" Shuichi asked the doctor.

"Never. But even without taking the first medication, you will have to stay home a couple days in order to rest your muscles so you'll be able to walk again. And then you also have a fever which I believe will also restrain you from work. So I highly recommend the first one."

"Good, we'll take it." Eiri said this time without hesitation.

"Hey Eiri, what about my say?" Shu tried to squirm away as the proctologist started cleaning.

"Brat if you're smart and if you were listening, you'd choose the first one too."

"Did you just call me stupid and that I don't pay attention?

"No, I'm just making the better choice for you as your caretaker."

"Aw, Eiri cares about me!" Shuichi cooed.

"Oh shut up and let the doctor do his job."

"Okay!"

After that as the doctor got to work and though the rest of the treatment Shuichi had a big, goofy grin on his face like he was listening to his favorite song.

After the medication was applied, the doctor allowed Shuichi to put on a pair of boxers and had him sit on the bed with Eiri next to him holding his hand rather than in his lap. The doctor was pinching pressure points and nerves around his hips to try to estimate how long until Shuichi would be able to walk again. Shuichi's smile started to disappear as the image in front of his eyes became less and less focused. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand hpoing to get rd of it but it didn't work and he was starting to get drowsy.

"Hey doc is this suppose to be happening?" Shuichi asked the blurry face of the doctor.

"Has your vision gotten blurry?"

"Yeah."

"Are you starting to feel drowzy?"

"A little."

"Then you're fine, these are normal side effects." The doctor reassured.

"Does that stuff have the temporary blindness too?" Eiri asked form his spot next to Shuichi.

"No. One of the side effects is slight or partial blindness or blurriness of eyesight, but it's not bad. His eyesight will be of a near-sighted person without their glasses on. But it only lasts for a half an hour then goes away."

"Alright." Shuichi slurred. He felt the heavy drowziness kick in as he started to slump forward and his eyelids started to flutter closed.

"Well by the look of it, by two or three days' time you'll be walking again." The doctor said with a smile but Shuichi had his eyes closed so he couldn't see it. "Mr. Shindou?" No response. "Shindou-san?" Still no response.

"Shu?" Eiri tried. Still no response but not longer after they could hear light snoring.

Eiri and Dr. Hibara laughed. While the doctor cleaned up, Eiri picked Shuichi up and tucked him into the bed.

Him and the doctor left the room, Eiri paid the bill, asked the doctor a couple more questions, and then escorted him out.

Eiri looked at the clock on the wall. 18:34pm.

_The doc said he'd be knocked out for a good two hours. I'll write until 8 and then I'll start cooking so Shuichi and I can have a late dinner. But first I think I need to call that crazy manager of his._

Eiri grabbed a wireless phone and dialed K's number.

"_Hello!_" K answered in English.

"Hello K." Eiri responded in Japanese.

"Ah Eiri Yuki, what can I do for you?"

"Shu won't be coming in-"

"Fine! He'll get an extra day off. But don't fuck him too hard tonight."

"You didn't let me finish idiot. What I meant to say was that Shuichi won't be coming in this **week**."

"Huh!? Why not!? We have an album to record. He better have his ass in tomorrow!"

"He's not. If you want an excuse, I'll send the doctor's note to ya but the moral of the story is that Shuichi will be staying home for the week." Eiri pressed the _End_ button then put the phone back on the base, then walked into his office and sat down to write for the hour and a half he planned.

Or at least that **was** the plan.


	5. Nightmare Hauntings

**I'm really sorry it took so long for me to update, but I'm in the middle of a lot of stories and school is not helping me get inspired to write them all. I'm trying to come up with ecuses but i believe you all owe explantations. I was at Zenkaikon a couple of days ago and got inspired from it and finished this chapter. Enjoy!**

* * *

About 40 minutes in, Eiri thought he heard someone calling his name so he stopped tying to listen.

"Yuki." It called.

_Is Hiro at the door?_

"Yuki." The voice called louder this time and more panicked. It took him less than a second to figure it out.

_Shu?_

Eiri saved and closed his laptop then started heading towards the bedroom when he heard Shuichi calling him again louder and more panicked still.

"YUKI!"

Eiri picked up his pace as Shuichi continued to call. Each one sounding more panicked and scared than the last until Eiri broke into a dead run and barged into the bedroom.

Shuichi was on the bed curled up in a fetal position with his hands defensively over his head.

"Shu!" Eiri ran over to the bed and pulled Shuichi into his lap, Shuichi was having a bad dream and Eiri was trying to shake him awake.

When Eiri finally shook him awake, Shuichi was crying. It took him minute to realize that the nightmare was over he was safe in Eiri's arms.

He looked up at Eiri from his place in his lap, "Yuki?" He asked as tears filled his eyes, as though he was unsure of who it was.

"Yeah Shuichi, it's me." Eiri said almost choking up himself.

"Eiri?! Thank goodness!" Shuichi gave a sigh then started sobbing into Eiri's shirt. Eiri wrapped his arms around Shuichi and held on.

_I don't know what he was dreaming of, but it scared him so much that he started calling me by my old name_.

Shuichi sniffled a few times as Eiri held him closer. Despite the feeling of his shirt becoming damp from Shuichi's tears.

_Shu is so warm. Really warm. Actually too warm_.

Eiri lifted Shu's head a little so he could use his lips to check his temperature.

"Shit," Eiri cursed when he felt flaming skin connect with his lips. "your fever spiked." He cradled Shuichi in one arm so he could reach over and grab a phone. All he did was hit redial then put it to his ear as it started to ring.

"Hello, Hibara's office." The receptionist answered.

"Yes, this is Eiri Usaegi. Is Dr. Hibara available to talk?"

"He just got back, let me put you through." She said, there was a click then the sound of someone picking up the phone.

"Hello? Mr. Usaegi?" Dr. Hibara greeted questionably.

"Yes, it's me. Shuichi's fever spiked and I wanted to know if there is a medication I can give him to help the fever?"

"I wish there was, but with the meds I gave him, it would not be safe. Just let him eat something light then get as much rest as possible. Make sure that when he isn't sleeping that he's relaxed.

"Alright. Thanks doc."

"Anytime."

Eiri hung up the phone and sighed. He looked down at the popstar in his lap with questioning eyes, paler complexion and very flushed cheeks.

_Damn, he's so cute!_

"I gotta go make us something to eat. Oatmeal sound good?" Eiri asked as he placed Shuichi back on the bed and got up.

"Yeah but I'm not hungry." Shuichi complained with a pout.

"Well doc says you are and I agree because you haven't eaten anything since this morning." Eiri said as he was walking out of the bedroom.

Eiri went to the kitchen to make the oatmeal with some brown sugar, tea for Shuichi, and a cup of black coffee for himself.

When he brought the food to the bedroom, he found Shuichi sitting up in bed with a pad of paper in his lap and a pen in his hand writing something.

"Hey brat, what are you writing?" Eiri asked him, thus spooking him and causing him to jump.

"Lyrics, and how the hell do you move so quietly?" Shuichi demanded.

"Years of practice, and aren't you not suppose to be working? I guess the better question would be, how **are** you working? Can you even see what you're writing?"

"I can see just not well. I can see what I'm writing it's just a bit blurry." Shuichi said as he lifted the pad to show lines of hardly legible but still readable lines of script.

"I'm trying to be as nice as possible to you since you're sick, but your lyrics already kind of suck and your head is not on completely. So for the rest of this week, no work what so ever. So finish what you're writing then say good-bye to that lyric pad of yours." Eiri said as he started laying out the food.

"Eiri~," Shuichi wined. "I have to get **some** work done or else K's going to murder me once I go back to the studio."

"I talked to K already. SO shut up, eat, then sleep."

Shuichi's expression turned to one of horror as he processed Eiri's words, "y-y-you talked t-t-to K?"

"Yes and you look like you're starting to go cross-eyed. Can you see straight?"

"Yes I can! Can we just eat now?" Shuichi asked in frustration.

They ate their oatmeal in silence, both at there sipping their drinks. When SHuichi was half way finished his bowl of oatmeal, he pushed it away.

"Done?" Eiri asked looking at the bowl then back to Shu.

"Yeah, I wasn't really hungry in the first place and i was starting to feel a little nauseous." Shuichi explained as he put his bowl and spoon back on the tray and continued to sip his tea.

"Okay," Eiri started as he put his empty bowl on the tray, "just one last thing before I leave you so you can sleep." Eiri got up from the bed and stood at the foot of it and held up one of his fingers and asked, "How many fingers am I holding up?"

"Three why?" Shu asked with question.

_Is his eyesight suppose to be this bad? Oh well, can't do anything about it now. I'll let him sleep and see how he is tomorrow._

"Hey Eiri, could you help me walk to the bathroom?" Shuichi asked him.

"Sure, just let me run this down to the kitchen." Eiri groaned as he was noting the tray in his hands.

"Alright, just hurry." Shuichi said as he crossed his legs under the blankets.

Eiri did as he said he would and cleaned and put the dishes away. But before he went upstairs again, he grabbed his laptop.

He went back upstairs and put his laptop on the bedside table before helping Shuichi to his feet and making his way to the bathroom.

Unlike last time, Shuichi needed Eiri in order to go to the bathroom. Because of his weak legs and bad eyes, Eiri had to hold Shuichi up as Shuichi relieved himself.

Usually Shuichi would be flushed and embarrassed, but he was too groggy and still shaken from the dream to care.

"Shuichi let's take a bath while we're in here." Eiri suggested to his boyfriend as he was finishing washing his hands.

Shuichi noticeably perked up at the suggestion of having a bath with his lover.

"Okay! Do you want to make it a bubble bath instead?"

"I guess. Which soap do you want to use?"

"The purple one." Eiri set Shuichi down on a towel on the floor by the bathtub as he bent down to search reach into the cabinet under the sink where they keep their small assortment of bubblebath soaps.

Eiri picked out their only purple one then stood up and started running the bath. As he was waiting for the tub to fill up a little, he looked over at Shuichi. He was curled up holding his knees to his chest with his face down and his forehead on his knee caps.

"Still groggy brat?"

"Hm?" Shuichi popped his head up and sounded as though Eiri interrupted a thought process. "Yeah, just a little." Shuichi had a sad smile on his face that made it easy to see through his mask.

_Can't fool me brat you were thinking about something that's bugging you. But I'll let it slide until after the bath._

When the bath was partially filled, Eiri added the soap and the soothing smell of lavender filled the tiled room.

When the suds and the water filled up to the desired point, Eiri shut off the water and started stripping. As Eiri did that, Shuichi watching the examining eyes and flushing cheeks.

"How do you feel?" Eiri asked as he shimmied himself out of his underwear.

"Still a little sick b-b-but I'm starting to feel better." Shuichi started to stutter as Eiri walked towards him and bent down to check his temperature.

"Your fever is down, but by the way it's been rollercoastering I don't count on it staying low. Let's take the bath then just get to bed."

"Okay." Shuichi muttered. He still couldn't take his eyes off of his boyfriend's body.

"Need help taking off your only piece of clothing brat?" Eiri asked as he caught his boyfriend's wandering eyes.

"No, I was just-"

"Looking." Eiri finished for him.

Shuichi kept his mouth shut as his cheeks flushed in embarrassment and shimmied out of his boxers.

Eiri picked Shuichi up and then stepped carefully into the warm sudsy water. He sat himself down first, then Shuichi between his legs.

"Does it hurt?" Eiri asked as he started shampooing Shuichi's hair.

"No, your hands are very gentle. It feels really nice." Shu mumbled as leaned farther into Eiri's massaging hands on his scalp.

"I was actually asking about your ass but I guess since you can't notice then it's fine."

"Oh." They were both quiet then as they finished washing and rinsing themselves from the soap and suds.

When the once warm water was starting to cool, Eiri removed then both from the bath and wrapped themselves in large plush towels.

Eiri wrapped his towel around his waist then got up and started draining the bathtub. While Eiri did that, Shuichi was drying his hair and trying to lift himself up enough to study whether if his hair needs re-dying.

Eiri was looking over his shoulder at the boy and wondering how hard the kid must be trying to block out the bad thoughts. Shuichi was still trying to lift himself up to see himself in the mirror, but made the mistake of lifting one of his feet and trying to stand. When he did that, he slipped on the corner of the towel and sent himself flying. If Eiri had not been watching him and caught him, he would've most certainly smashed his head open.

"Baka! I can't even count how many times I've had to save you from injuring yourself. You're more of a danger to yourself than anyone else!" Eiri yelled out in frustration and worry.

"Sorry." Shuichi said in a sad tone as he snuggle deeper into Eiri's chest where he was caught. It took all of Shuichi's strength not to start crying, but he couldn't stop his body from trembling in the warm embrace.

Eiri could feel his boyfriend start to shake, he knew he was trying not to cry by the way that he took shaky breaths and swallowed repeatedly. "I'm sorry Shuichi, I didn't mean to yell. It's alright to cry."

"But-" Shuichi tried to oppose but tears had already started to fall, and would not stop. Eiri just shushed and rocked him as silent tears fell. Only tears and a couple of sniffles escaped, but no wails or sobs ever followed.

Once they were gone, Shuichi used a corner of his towel to dry his eyes and then tried to use the counter to help him stand successfully. Eiri walked them both back to the bedroom and changed, now they were sitting on the bed together as Eiri was drying Shuichi's hair.

"You know I'm not a baby, I can do it myself." Shuichi complained.

"Yeah yeah, almost done." Eiri finished then threw the towel into the hamper.

Shuichi kept his eyes on the mattress as he started to crawl towards the headboard and pillows. But before he could accomplish his mission, Eiri grabbed one of Shuichi's ankles and pulled him right back to where he was.

"Waah! Eiri what the hell!?" Shuichi demanded as he tried to shake off Eiri's grip around his ankle. As Shuichi struggled, Eiri popped a cigarette in his mouth but didn't light it.

"Not 'what the hell', we have shit to talk about. And we're not going to bed until we talk. So sit still, sit up, then shut up until I tell you otherwise."

Shuichi made a pout then a worried face as he sat on the edge of the bed and kept his eyes on his fisted hands on each of his knees. He jumped a little when Eiri placed his hands gently over each of the fists. This caused Shuichi to look up and meet Eiri's as he neeled in from of Shuichi. His eyes were serious but somehow gentle. His gaze then went gentle as Eiri broke the eye contact and watched as he drew shapes with his fingers on the back of one of Shuichi's hands.

"Why do you seem so hesitant to tell me things now Shuichi?" Eiri asked. He heard a sniffle then looked up to see tears building up in Shuichi's eyes. "Now don't do that Shu," Eiri said as he took Shuici's face into his hands and forced their eyes to meet. Shuichi tried to pull away as he started to cry harder.

"I don't want to always depend on you." He said between hiccups."

"What?" Eiri was even more confused.

"I feel like I can do nothing on my own. I'm immature and don't know how to do anything except leach off of you." Shuichi hid his face in his hands and out of Eiri's line of vision.

Eiri sighed and got up from his spot on the floor and sat next to Shuichi on the bed.

"Do these feelings have anything to do with the dream?" Eiri could see Shuichi's bottom lip tremble as he nodded "yes" to Eiri's question. "Then why don't we start by you telling me what happened in the dream." Shuichi immediately shook his head no. "Don't be stubborn, I can't help unless you tell me things. If you don't tell me then I can't help you. So stop hiding your face, I'm going to go get a box of tissues and a trashcan, come back, then you're going to sit down and tell me the entire story and reason."

Shuichi went quiet for a few seconds before Eiri got up and walked out the door and came back with a box of tissues and the trashcan from the bathroom. He set the trashcan in front of Shuichi and offered him the box of tissues which he took immediatly and took one out of the box and blew his eyes and then nose with it.

After Shuichi went through another couple of tissues to blow his nose, Shuichi took a couple deep breaths then started to talk.


End file.
